(as posted by Sabine)
Sabine: OMG, car noise. Beep beep. OMG, the treat machine is home. Commence wagging of tail. Commence cuteness. Thump, thump, thump (tail banging into everything). Ooooooo, key noise. Human is near. Door is opening. If I look cute enough I will get treats.
Me: Hi Baby!!
Sabine: Snausages! Bacon! Rawhide! I love you!
Me: Gotta pee, Gotta pee, Gotta Pee.
Sabine: Hey, quit sitting on my water bowl and take me to the park, bitch. Then get me some bacon, look at how cute I am. Otherwise I will be forced to lay on my back and show you my ultra-cute spotted pink belly. BACON!